What is happiness? What is sorrow? There are two words in English – thrill and joy. The question is, what are these thrills and joys? Or is it happiness to get all the things we wanted in life? We have some basic needs – food, a roof over our heads and clothes to cover our bodies. Man cannot live without them. We all want this, but if someone says, ‘I breathe and I get a lot of pleasure in it’, then it cannot be called happiness. Breathing is a condition of living. This must happen. It cannot be placed in the category of happiness and sorrow. Then what is happiness and sorrow? Happiness and sorrow do not come from outside. He is within us. I feel sad when someone disappoints me because I had expectations from him. I feel hurt when someone says something that makes me feel that he has let me down. I feel sad when someone betrays me. Who is deciding my suffering in all these matters? Actually, other people are deciding when I have to be sad. My emotions are tied to his behavior. This is not right. It cannot be right to give the key to your happiness and unhappiness to another person’s behavior. I also believe that people who hurt or mistreat others often have a dysfunctional understanding of themselves. If their thinking was clear, if they could understand the feelings of the other person, but if they have done bad, then it is their weakness, their deficiency. You are also a human being, I am also a human being. It is possible that he may get angry sometimes. At such a time, convince yourself that the person who is hurting others has no developed understanding. He has not understood how to live. Now the question is – what is happiness? I think I’ll buy a car. If I buy a big car, I will be happy, but it is not so. There is a difference between comfort and happiness. It may be possible that rest is necessary for happiness, but rest is not happiness. Happiness lies within man. Similarly, there is a difference between peace and happiness. What we are often searching for in the name of happiness is actually peace, but we call it happiness. Peace is probably the closest thing to happiness that we are really looking for. And that peace is not found in any commotion. Whatever comes in such a form that you say – ‘Wow! Had a lot of fun!’ So this fun is about to end. There is a time for this. It will end and you will be back to your normal state. But what is that normal situation? What is the place you return to? He is calm. Happiness is a calm ocean. If he is inside you, he is there all the time – quietly, silently. Happiness does not mean that some happy event happens all the time in life. Happiness is perhaps the name of that situation where there is no sorrow. Buying cars, having big parties, visiting different places – all these can give you thrill and pleasure for a while, but that experience will end and you will return to your normal state. Therefore the question is not how much happiness I am getting from outside. The question is, when all the outside noise goes away, what is left inside me? If there is no sadness, no restlessness, no external thing that holds the key to my emotions – then perhaps happiness lies there. The cure for sadness is not that the world starts behaving as per my wish. The only cure for sadness is that no one from outside can hurt you. (Editing and coordination- Arvind Mandloi)
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लहर-लहर: क्या सुख सिर्फ रोमांच और ‘वाह!’ का पल है, या इनसे कहीं आगे का एहसास?
