मां का फॉर्मूला: मदद मांगना बंद कर बच्चों को घरेलू काम दें, शॉपिंग लिस्ट बनाने में शामिल करें, वे जिम्मेदार बनेंगे

‘A few days ago, when I opened the bedroom cupboard, I saw my husband’s clothes scattered everywhere. The same was the condition of the children’s room. Although I had been organizing these things for the last 14 years, now my patience has run out…’ says family therapist Sam Kelly.

Sam says that it is believed all over the world that it is the responsibility of women to manage the house. Be it a working woman or a homemaker. But I believe that managing the house is 100% teamwork.

Sam has found ways to deal with this challenge. After this, he does not have to tell anyone for household chores. He has shared these formulas in his book ‘Notice and Do Guide’, read …

If children learn to notice, they will not have to be asked to do any work

Proper division of work: I took upon myself all the tasks from grocery lists, utility bills, doctor’s appointments to children’s school work. I was also doing many ‘invisible’ tasks every day. But no one understands their value. I discussed with my husband Chas and redistributed these tasks. The stress reduced a lot.

Change the terminology of responsibility: Sam says, I never use the word ‘help’ when talking about household chores. Because when we talk about help, it implies that the entire responsibility of the house is on the mother. Everyone else is just helping. I have replaced the word ‘help’ with ‘work’. Now I ask the children, ‘Can you help me with arranging clothes and utensils?’

Children need to do one thing: I ask my three kids, Hero (11), Goldie (9) and Shepard (6), to do one chore every day. They follow the Big Three formula: making the bed, putting clothes in the machine and drying them, and loading and unloading the dishwasher.

Teach to be alert: Instead of giving children a specific task, ask them to focus on one thing in the kitchen. So that they can experience for themselves what is missing where. If they are alert, there will be no need to ask them to do the work.

Communication among ourselves is essential: Communication among family members is important. Whenever Chas and I do any work, we talk to the children too. For example, while making grocery or shopping lists, we take inputs from the children. We discuss the work they did during the day. Instead of praising them, we say that they noticed. This skill will help them in school, family life and business.