Relationships in families go through many types of complications. Somewhere nature clashes, somewhere communication breaks down and somewhere expectations become a burden. Readers send similar dilemmas to The Ethicist column of the NYT, where experts suggest solutions. No matter the relationship, the challenge is the same and often the solution is the same – space, boundaries and communication. The first case is of a joint family, where marriage was being planned after years. The conversation was going smoothly, but the atmosphere changes as soon as one member’s name comes up. That person was separated from many relationships due to disputes. The last get-together was marred by this tension. This time his child clearly said, ‘We will come only when he is not there.’ The family was in confusion. Ultimately it was decided not to send the invitation to that member. Resentment increased when the decision came out, later during the conversation it was made clear that the aim was not to remove anyone, but to give emotional space to someone else. Communication between the couple decreased, distance increased. The second story is of husband and wife. Communication had reduced in the years-old marriage. Things kept piling up, the distance kept increasing. One day after an argument the wife decided to live separately for some time. Subsequent honest conversations cleared the air over the years and the relationship became more balanced once boundaries were set. The third story is of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law felt that the mother-in-law interfered in her daily routine, whereas the mother-in-law considered it a part of caring. The distance increased due to misunderstandings. Ultimately the daughter-in-law spoke directly and explained her need for space. The dialogue helped both of them understand that setting boundaries is necessary for coexistence. Experts’ opinion: Only clarity gives security in relationships. According to psychiatrist Russell, ‘Sometimes silence becomes a protection in relationships and sometimes conversation is the solution. The only difference is time and situation. According to sociologist Kevin Wood, a balance of kindness and humility is essential in relationships. Unspoken conflicts hurt for years, but the right thing said at the right time secures the future.
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परिवार में संबंध: छिपे फैसलों से तनाव बढ़ता है: चुप्पी और गलतफहमी से बिगड़ते हैं संबंध; सीमाएं तय करने और संवाद से रिश्तों में लौटता है सम्मान
