TV actress Rubina Dilaik is in the news these days for her reality show ‘The Ward’. In a special conversation with Dainik Bhaskar, Rubina spoke openly on important issues like motherhood, postpartum depression, women’s mental health and family support. She told that becoming a mother is not only a journey of happiness, but also a period full of emotional and mental changes, which is less talked about in the society. Rubina also said that what new mothers need the most is understanding, support and proper counseling so that they can take care of themselves again. Question: ‘The Ward’ is a show like an emotional experiment. How did this show impact you? Answer: I can say with full confidence that I had experienced this show in my own life. When I became a mother, I realized that motherhood not only brings happiness but also brings with it a lot of changes in the body, mind and emotions. But people do not talk openly about these things. I always wished someone had explained all this to me earlier. With this in mind, I wanted to create a community where new mothers and pregnant women could openly share their experiences and problems. When ‘The Ward’ show came, it felt like this was the stage I had been imagining. We brought together different women and tried to understand their stories, struggles and feelings. Then I realized that every woman’s pregnancy may be different, but the feelings are almost the same. Question: In India, motherhood and its sacrifice are celebrated, but after becoming a mother, a woman loses her identity. How was this issue addressed in the show? Answer: Through this show, we have tried to explain that after the birth of a child, the family moves ahead in their life, but the biggest changes come in the life of a new mother. It takes time for him to recognize himself again. That’s why we presented the stories of women from different cities and villages. Some got family support, some did not. The thinking of different cultures and families was also seen. Through these stories, we tried to show that women need support the most at this time and the family can come together to support them. Question: During motherhood, women get advice from all sides. How did you handle these advice yourself? Answer: In motherhood, everyone gives you advice and considers themselves an expert. But I learned that every woman’s journey is different. I listened to everyone, but did what I felt was right for me and my children. I also used to tell the women who came to the show to believe in themselves. Listen to the voice of your mind. Your heart will tell you what is right and what is wrong for you. Our aim was to make every woman so strong that she can travel this journey with her own identity. Question: Physical health is discussed during pregnancy, but mental health and counseling are often ignored. How much attention did you pay to this? Answer: We paid a lot of attention to this. Because if a woman starts feeling mentally weak, then it becomes difficult for her to move forward. During pregnancy and delivery, many changes occur in the body, which also affect the mental state. If counseling and support is not received at the right time, the woman may go into a situation like postpartum depression. Earlier people did not discuss these things openly, but now awareness is increasing. Our aim is that women recognize their emotional changes and do not hesitate to seek help when needed. Question: You yourself faced postpartum depression. How did you come out of that phase? Answer: Postpartum depression is a period which is different for every woman. This may last from a few days to several months. It is difficult to avoid it completely, but if you are aware of it, it becomes easier to handle. My nutritionist had already explained to me that hormonal changes will occur at different times after childbirth. So I started focusing on myself. If your mood is getting worse, you are crying without any reason or you don’t feel like talking to people, then these can be signs. At such times, I did small things like taking short walks, stretching and trying to keep myself active. Awareness is the greatest power. Question: How important is husband’s support in this period? Answer: Husband’s support is very important. If your partner constantly complains instead of understanding you, then the woman’s troubles increase further. Many times a woman becomes mentally very tired during postpartum. He needs time alone. If the husband shows understanding and does not put pressure on the woman, then she can come out of this phase in a better way. Question: Even today, there is less awareness about mental health and counseling in small towns and villages. What would you like to say to the women and families there? Answer: We are trying to take small steps through this show. Women from villages and small towns also came to our show, who openly expressed their problems. Even today many people consider it wrong to go to a counselor or therapist, but what we want to say is that if help is needed, one should not feel ashamed in seeking it. Women should get a safe environment where they can express their views openly. Question: There are many misconceptions regarding eating habits during pregnancy. What is your opinion on this? Answer: Doctors, nutritionists and gynecologists were constantly present in our show. Special attention was paid to the eating habits of every mother. Proper nutrition is important not only for the mother but also for the child. We believe that what the mother eats and the environment she lives in during pregnancy also affects the child. Therefore, Garbh Sanskar does not only mean worship, but also right eating habits and good thoughts. Question: Even today, there is a difference between son and daughter in the society. How do you see this thinking? Answer: Today we have progressed a lot in science and technology, but thinking is still old in many places. The difference between son and daughter is still visible from villages to cities. I myself am one of three sisters and we have heard a lot. So we decided that if we have daughters, we will raise them with pride. Today I have two daughters and we consider ourselves very lucky. We have always taken care of our parents as much as is expected from sons. We want to teach our next generation that daughters can also fulfill the responsibilities of the family equally well. Question: What changes did you feel in yourself after becoming a mother? Answer: After becoming a mother a person becomes emotionally stronger. Earlier, if I did not get enough sleep, my entire mood would deteriorate. But now if I get even two hours of sleep, I feel fresh. I had twins, so the first six months were very difficult. There were sleepless nights, but still your body and mind take care of you. I feel that God also gives a different strength along with becoming a mother. Question: How do you keep yourself mentally and physically fit? Answer: I take my health very seriously. I pay attention to what I eat, how much rest I take and how active I keep my body. Looking good and staying fit is the result of that. I don’t compromise on my food, rest and self-care. Because if I don’t feel good myself, I won’t be able to give proper time to both my work and family. Question: In the end, what message would you like to give to people through this show? Answer: A woman is the backbone of a family and a mother is the strength of the entire society. When a woman becomes a mother, she makes a new beginning not only for herself but also for the coming generations. If you want your family to be happy and strong, then first of all take care of the new mother.
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