In the Marathi web series ‘Agan Aayi Aho Aayi’, Renuka Shahane is playing the role of a mother who believes in strengthening relationships. In a conversation with Dainik Bhaskar, he told what is the meaning of ‘Agan Aayi’ and ‘Aho Aayi’, how perceptions regarding mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships can change, why families are breaking up and what emotions a mother goes through after her daughter’s marriage. Question: First of all, tell our Hindi readers what is the meaning of ‘Agan Aayi Aho Aayi’? Answer: ‘Agan Aai’ means our mother. In Marathi, mother is affectionately called ‘Aai’. When a girl goes to her in-laws’ house after marriage, she respectfully addresses her mother-in-law as ‘Aho Aayi’. The beauty of the series is that the journey of the new bride starts from making her mother ‘Agan Aayi’ and reaches to making her mother-in-law ‘Aho Aayi’ with the same affinity. Question: That means, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can also be like mother-daughter? Answer: Absolutely. Our series shows that mother-in-law is not just a rule maker but can also be a friend. She gives so much affection to her daughter-in-law that sometimes she is seen loving her more than her mother. At the same time, the girl’s mother fears that her daughter might go away from her. These feelings of relationships make the story special. Question: What was the thing about this story that impressed you the most? Answer: Two things. First, it is a story like our homes. It seems as if someone has installed a camera inside the house. Secondly, we often make preconceived notions about the girls of the new generation that their values will be weak or that they will not follow traditions. But the story shows that relationships are not just the responsibility of the daughter-in-law. When a girl comes to a new family, it is also the responsibility of her in-laws to adopt her. If the mother-in-law understands and accepts it, the relationship automatically becomes sweet. Question: Often people already have an opinion about the daughter-in-law, what do you think? Answer: This is the biggest mistake. If the beginning starts with thinking about what the girl will be like, what her values will be like or her maternal family will be looked down upon, then the relationship can never be good. This affects the son and husband. They are the ones who get crushed the most in the middle. Question: If the daughter-in-law is accepted as a daughter and friend, then perhaps half of the problems will be solved? Answer: Absolutely. If friendship is formed between two women, the whole house becomes stronger. Our series not only shows the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, but also shows respect and belongingness between two families. When the girl’s mother sees that her daughter is getting love in her in-laws, then respect for that family automatically comes in her mind. Question: In TV and films, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often shown as full of fights. Does your series look different from this? Answer: Yes, we have always heard that women are the enemies of women. But it is not necessary to be like this. The daughter-in-law is going to take the next generation of the family forward. If this relationship is maintained with love and respect then the whole family remains happy. Question: Did you see a glimpse of your mother or yourself in this character? Answer: My mother and I are not as strict as this character. My mother was very disciplined, but her way was different. I had to look a little strict in this character, so this was a new experience. But there was one feeling I completely connected with. Every mother wants that her daughter never has to listen to anything because of values. Especially when the daughter is the only one and the house becomes empty after marriage, then the emptiness within the mother is very deep. Question: Even today, daughters are given different types of education before marriage, what do you believe? Answer: Earlier there was a difference between daughters and sons. Now the situation has changed a lot, but even today the mother tells the daughter, “Learn this, learn that, otherwise you will have to listen further.” This thinking has not completely ended yet. Question: Today families are breaking apart rapidly. What do you think is the biggest reason for this? Answer: If we keep seeing things like fights and discord every day then it will definitely have an impact. But it is in our hands to decide what kind of family we want. There may be differences in every home, but the way to resolve them should be positive. The effect of increasing every small thing is not only on the husband and wife, but on the entire family and especially the children. Question: And, children learn what they see at home. What do you say? Answer: Absolutely. If children see their parents fighting every day, it will become a part of their personality. Therefore, managing relationships is not just the responsibility of two people but of the entire family. Question: During the shooting, was there any emotional scene which touched you deeply? Answer: Yes. While doing a scene, I remembered my mother. After my marriage, he too must have felt that his daughter no longer lives with him. No matter how strong the mother-daughter relationship is, a void definitely comes after marriage. We keep talking on the phone, but it is not like living together. That scene made me really emotional. Question: You are a daughter and also a mother. According to you, what does a good mother look like? Answer: My mother is a role model for me. He never put pressure on numbers. Always said to work hard with full honesty. The result is not in our hands, but the effort is definitely in our hands. I also want to teach my children to work hard and not worry about the results. I want to give the same love and values to my children that my mother gave me.
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