If your partner suddenly stops talking after a fight, many questions start coming to your mind – what happened, whose fault was it and in which direction will the relationship go now? According to experts, every silence is not a ‘silent treatment’ i.e. an attempt to create pressure. Many times a person becomes so filled with anger or emotions that he is unable to talk immediately. Some people even stop conversations out of fear that they may say something in anger that they may regret later. Therefore, it is important to first understand whether the partner is asking for time to calm down or is stopping talking without informing. Remaining silent for a long time without telling is a problem. If the partner does not talk for a long time without telling, then the other person does not understand whether he is angry, sad or wants to end the relationship. This uncertainty increases restlessness and insecurity. According to psychologist Rachel Needle, silence can make the other person feel as if he has been rejected. This situation becomes more difficult on message, because the other person’s voice, facial expressions and immediate signals are not available. In such a situation, even a small thing can become a big misunderstanding. Repeatedly demanding answers can increase the distance. In such a situation, often one person wants to resolve the dispute by talking immediately, while the other goes further away to avoid tension. The more the first calls or messages, the more pressure the second may feel. Therefore, give some time after giving a clear message to your partner. Avoid calling or messaging repeatedly and becoming silent in return. During this time, taking a walk, talking to a trusted friend, or concentrating on some other task can help reduce anxiety. If it happens again and again, clearly state your limits, the entire relationship should not be considered bad because of one silence. But if stopping talking without informing happens repeatedly and the behavior does not change even after conversation, then it is important to clearly state your limits. In such a situation, you can say – “If you need time, I will give it, but it is not right for me to keep talking indefinitely.” Setting boundaries doesn’t mean ending the relationship. This means that it should be clear to both of them that there will be space to calm down, but leaving the other in uncertainty is not the way to have a relationship. When the conversation starts again, instead of giving a complete account of the old fight, try to understand what your partner needed at that time. This may make it easier to handle such a situation next time.
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