An NRI man living abroad for over 10 years has stirred a social media debate after sharing that he was confused about how to stay connected with his parents from afar. In a Reddit post titled ‘Ageing parents in India’, the NRI expressed concern that his parents might be withholding health or personal updates to avoid burdening him and that he was feeling ‘guilty’.
“Both my sister and I have left India for the past 10+ years. My parents are in their 60s and honestly, it’s gotten harder to stay in touch as the years go by, not easier. To add to it, my brother-in-law has also decided to move out, so 2 sets of ageing parents without their children. I feel so sad,” the NRI wrote.
The man added that having children changed something in him and that he now understood what his parents gave up when he moved abroad.
“I actually understand now what my parents gave up, how much of their life was just about us. And now I’m on the other side of the world calling once a week if they’re lucky. There’s a guilt that comes with that, not dramatic, just this low hum that never really goes away. Like I chased my own life and quietly left behind the people who made it possible.”
Stating that how calls felt shallow and not real conversations, the NRI said there was no “sitting and talking” that he used to do with his parents.
“It also feels like something is going to blow up, physically, mentally or financially, and they are not telling me because they see how crazy busy my life is.”
The NRI turned to the internet for meaningful ways to maintain a deep connection despite the distance and how to prepare for when they lose mobility.
“Anyone else dealing with this? How do you actually stay connected in a real way? Any tips from folks who have older parents in their 80s/90s? How do we prepare for what is to come?”
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Social Media Reactions
As the post gained traction, a section of social media users highlighted they were in a similar situation, while others said it was the natural course of things.
“100% in the same boat as you. Moving them here is not possible, moving back is not an option. I don’t know what the solution is,” said one user while another added: “You know, this is how life is. Children grow up and move on to a different phase. Every generation faces a different version of this problem.”
A third commented: “I talk to my parents every day without fail, it’s a way for me to be sure I am on top of every minute detail and the phone call is something they look for each day. I also try to visit India every year just to take a vacation with them.’
A fourth said: “Don’t beat yourself up. 60 is nothing and your parents should be living their best life right now, given they have raised their kids. This is a time for them to enjoy life while they still have 10-20 years of mobility and health left.”
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