रंग-रूप के बजाय बेटी के कौशल की प्रशंसा करें: सुंदरता का सही अर्थ बताएं… ताकि उसका फोकस दिखावे पर नहीं, बेहतर व्यक्तित्व पर रहे

Author Kehler says… Every child is unique, don’t inadvertently put extra pressure on daughters.

A few days ago, my 4-year-old daughter and I were going to swimming class, when a man said what a beautiful girl she is. We left from there immediately, daughter asked- Mom, what did he say? I lied that the man liked your hat. I did not want him to be proud of the ‘beautiful’ label… Author Katie Kelleher says, the use of the word ‘beautiful’ teaches them that this is the ideal, they should become like this, but often the focus is on the external appearance. Rarely do we think about the side effects of this praise. In her book ‘The Ugly History of Beautiful Things’, Katie has discussed the risks associated with it, read…

Teach her the value of inner beauty… eliminate the power of words related to beauty

‘When I was a child, I thought being pretty was an important currency that could potentially be exchanged for power, money or happiness. My mother did everything she could to make sure I looked pretty at age 12. I don’t blame my mother, although I do resent how the word ‘pretty’ had such a profound effect on my life. I felt powerless when I felt I wasn’t ‘pretty enough’.

From a young age, we teach girls to be nice and polite, to seek attention. It is a thin line we expect them to walk. While with the word beautiful, we subconsciously convey to our daughters that they are beautiful on the outside, even if that is not our intention. Unconsciously, we are putting extra pressure on girls to worry more about the way they look rather than focusing on qualities or achievements.

At an early age, girls should be exposed to behaviour and words that will help them develop their personality. We can say things like ‘she is smart or she is brave’ to change our perception that beauty only measures superficial things related to the way one looks. Talk to your daughter about a quality or skill that is unique to her. Maybe she cooks well, or something she says is very inspiring.

Also, instead of opposing the word beautiful, we should ignore it. Weaken this word, take away its power and instead praise other aspects. What I have learnt from my experience is that every child is unique.

It can’t be reduced to just three letters (beautiful). I want all of us to be more than just a ‘thing’. Raising a child with an intrinsic, all-encompassing sense of self-worth is no small task. But that’s where I can put my energy right now. It feels good, too.’ – Katie Kelleher